Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Why Not All Books Should Be Fifty Shades of Grey

image via vectorportal.com
by Priscille Sibley

This morning I heard on the news that the Fifty Shades books are on their way to breaking another record. Frankly, I don’t care which one. People like sex. People like reading about sex. And when everyone is doing or talking about something, people stop being embarrassed about it. I’ve heard people say they are reading the Grey books because they love the characters. To me that sounds a little like how men used to read Playboy for the articles, but to be fair, there are other steamy books and they haven’t caught on the same way this series has, so there is something in the books that has latched onto readers’ imaginations. Again, I won’t hazard to guess what. Wink. 

But that’s not where I was going with this blog post. My book has hardly any sex in it; at least there is nothing graphic or intentionally titillating on the page.  I was reaching out to show an emotional connection between the characters. And my book is not a romance.  When one of my day job coworker’s asked me what my book was about, her primary interest was to find out if my novel was like Fifty Shades. (She’s the wife of a minister.) Ah, no, I said. That’s not my story. Well, she said, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s part of life after all. Sure, sex is part of life. BDSM? Whatever.

My characters have sex. They just don’t do it on stage. Why don’t they? Should they? I don’t think so, and not because I’m a prude, and not because I’m a mother and don’t want to set a bad example. My characters don’t have sex on stage because my narrator would not choose to share that information. My characters don’t have sex on the page because the she in my story is gravely ill. Her husband is devastated because he is in love with his wife, and he is a private person. He had to be a private person for other reasons. Their situation, a right-to-life, right-to-die trial, is being played out in the front of the media, much to his chagrin. While that may sound like a squirrelly way to avoid writing about THE DEED, I can honestly and unequivocally swear, sharing the details of their lovemaking would not advance my plot or add to their characterization. It would not impart more information about their relationship. I sincerely believe that by the end of the book, the reader will have a sense of who they are and the tenderness and passion they share. It is a love story, but not a sexy story. There is a difference.  And in this one, graphic sex would detract from the emotional arc.

Sometimes less is more.

Not all books should be Fifty Shades even if readers are clamoring for it. What do all people (except maybe nuns, priests and monks) have in common? Sex. Yes, it’s how we are all created, and most adults engage in sex. But graphic sex is not necessary in all books. Let’s face it folks, sex is not the only part of a love story.

In other words, adding graphic sex to my novel would have been gratuitous. Why not put a little gratuitous sex on the page if that’s what readers want? Because that would be another book, a different book. And maybe I’ll write that book someday, but not this time.  

Follow me @PriscilleSibley

23 comments:

  1. Great post. And I wholeheartedly agree.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have one kiss in a novel that's being promoted as a love story. Like you, I'm writing about the emotional connection between two characters--in my case, two emotionally damaged characters. I know what happens the first time they have sex--but that's after the final page and my private fantasy! Not sharing. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are a few kisses in mine and a few gropes, but no down and dirty heavy breathing. They are intimate. The point is to show intimacy not sexuality. I can't wait to read your novel, Barbara!

      Delete
  3. I agree, not all books have to be a shade of fifty. And thank God for that!

    I see this phenomenon as nothing more than a trend.
    Just a few years ago, when I presented myself as I writer, the immediate question was if my book was similar to The DaVinci Code. Alas, it wasn't.

    See? I can relate. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A trend or a fad, Jose?

      Yes, there were a lot of Da Vinci Code imitators. What sells well is always imitated. Vampires, young wizards, dystopians. I'm not trying to say any of these are invalid. Each caught readers' imaginations.

      Delete
    2. Yes, I think "fad" is more appropriate. At least one of us got it right. :-)

      Here's to your book starting the next fad!

      Delete
  4. I love sex scenes but not gratuitous - in fact one of my favorite sex scenes I think was only a line or two from Smilla's Sense of Snow - if it forwards the story I like it mucho - or even not sometimes - but after a while it too becomes as boring as an old shoe. I think relationship as in your book is what drives me to read a book - most books I read these days don't have enough of that going on - as I recall in reading your book in progress, you did a fantastic job creating the give and take of your two main characters in their relationship. No need for sex scenes - or, as in Jane Austen and Elizabeth Gaskell books, the lack of them with the tension of what you knew was waiting was a big part of the power of the books for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think you need to drown a reader in something. Just a touch can make a scene work better than a heavy hand.

      Delete
  5. Great post, Priscille. Personally, I do not get the excitement surrounding this series. As you said, there are many more books available that are on par with 50 Shades. Why this one caught the attention of the public is beyond me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lita, I hear 50 Shades started out for fan fiction for the Twilight series. Their names when she was first publishing it (? on her website or blog) were Bella and Edward. Fans caught it. Talk happened. Now you can't turn on the national news without hearing about it. Curious readers read. I know I bought the first one when I heard editors talking it up at a writers conference in March. As a writer I wanted to know.

      I did not buy the second two. I was in an indie bookstore and was talking to a clerk and she said that old ladies are coming in and buying it having no idea what it's about, just that everyone is talking about it. Word of mouth and not wanting to be on the outside of conversation is selling the thing now. It has momentum.

      Delete
  6. Great post Priscille! I was just talking about this very thing with my husband today. There's no sex in my novel either. Lots of kissing and groping, but I wanted to build sexual tension, which for my two characters was the right thing. Due to the circumstances they find themselves in, their first time doesn't happen for YEARS. And then I left that to the reader's imagination.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Applause. Here's to the writer who doesn't depend on graphic sex to grab attention. Being rather old fashion in some ways, I've always felt that what was left to the imagination was sexier than what was detailed on the page. Actually, there are some things about people's lives I DON'T want to know, including bathroom habits, nose picking and flossing. Thank you anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  8. One thing I've noticed is that when you start having sex scenes between the main characters, it pretty much becomes a romance, and if the scenes are really graphic they tend to dominate the book. If you're trying to make some other kind of point in your story--the heroine is solving a mystery, the hero is trying to stop an assasination plot, etc.--I think that tends to recede into the background. In other words, you either write a book about a sexual relationship or you're better off playing that down so it won't totally distract your reader from the main plot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a valid point. If you're writing genre like romance (which is fine by the way) the sex scene may advance your plot.

      Delete
  9. Yep! While you may never sell a gazillion copies, those who want to read a good story will remember and appreciate your book.
    If they want a sex manual, let them buy those other books...but then, I wonder if that's the only thrill they get in their lives...from reading about sex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every book has its own message. I didn't write this blog post to badmouth E.L. James. Seriously. Her book is getting a lot of attention from all fronts, not just from readers. The media is talking it up big time. I just don't think all the hype invalidates other kinds of books.

      Delete
  10. I've actually heard the reverse most of the time, that people are turned off by graphic stuff happening in novels. I've been not allowed into writing groups because it's what I write or been told by people that it's ALWAYS unnecessary in a novel. It's just a type of novel and people should stop reading so much into whether or not there is sex in novels. They're all different and writers have different ways of writing than one another. If you don't like their style, then fine, don't read it. But there's definitely not a right or wrong way in this area - sex or no sex.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I m excited for the 50 Shades Of Grey Movie. I cant wait for releasing date
    50 Shades Of Grey Movie

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thank you so much for the wonderful book! I finished it a few days ago and cannot get it out of my head. It is pure magic. It was everything I hoped it would be and much more. ...
    Dakota Johnson

    ReplyDelete